Setting boundaries is considered a good thing to do. To protect yourself against other people’s opinions, emotions, actions, that might harm you or intrude into your personal sphere, or energy field. Taking care of yourself. But contrary to what most people think, I believe that truly taking care of you can only be done by growing boundaries from inside out.
Meeting others should happen on the outer edges of your energy fields. Tasting the soul of the other person with your own soul and then deciding whether it is possible, worthwhile or joyful to prolong the meeting, or even merge some of the energies. Meeting another person is finding out if, and in what measure, you resonate with that other person. Get a taste of the energy, feel, experience.
In order to do that, it is most useful if your attention is with your own energy field, your own bubble filled with thoughts and opinions and feelings and emotions and inclinations to behaviour and habits and intentions…. Your awareness should be with YOU.
Now what mostly happens when you “set boundaries” is that your attention is with the boundaries, on the edge of your energy field, constantly aware of your surroundings, of other people, of what they say or do or send to you – and you are alert, and you set some more boundaries…
When your awareness is on the edges of your being, you cannot ground yourself, you cannot grow. You lose energy by being alert all the time.
When your awareness is inside, you can connect to your personal sources of energy: the cosmos, and the earth. From those energies you can grow, and you will be a firm and strong and clear field of energy, a soul energy that can handle her surroundings, other people’s opinions, or emotions… You do not have to set boundaries anymore, you just have them, organically grown.
— Be rather a hard boiled egg than a raw one…